Saturday, November 19, 2011

Five Crucial Skills Parents Need to Relate with their Children

Dr. Roger McIntire
The Learning Curve Radio Show

What is Your Body Saying Before You Even Say Anything to Your Child?

Are your arms crossed?
Whenever you talk with your child try to not always talk about what’s wrong or what they’re doing wrong.  Take the time to talk about their hobbies or sports, about what they’re doing right, what you appreciate about them.-Otherwise every time you want to talk to our child they’re going to associate talking with you as a discussion of what’s wrong with them.  That doesn’t lead to much communication and a desire to avoid you.

When you do need to talk about an issue or problem, don’t make the child wrong, assume that they were trying to do their best but made a poor decision.  This makes their actions, responses or decisions poorly thought out and inappropriate, and the child wrong.

Validate the rightness of what they were trying to do.  Find something they did do correctly and validate it.  Explore the way they arrived at or reasons for their decision or action.  Ask your child to explain their reasoning and DO NOT make them wrong for it.  Explore alternatives.  How else might they have solved this problem/situation?  Let them do most of the talking.  Do not interrupt!

Are you distracted by TV, iPad, iPhone, email?
What kind of message is that sending your child?  You are giving them only half your attention.  What you’re showing them is that they are not important enough for you to give them your full attention.  Remember that you need to be modeling acceptable behavior to them.  Is that how they end up speaking to you?  Busy on their iPod, smartphone, not giving you their full attention?  Where did they learn that from?

Want to learn more about how to successfully relate with your children?
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